teen spirit

They say, “sometimes we have to be weak in order to become strong.” But me, I don’t ever want to be weak. I don’t ever want to show the control someone can have over me. I do not want to be seen as some girl anyone can influence so quickly and feel this sense of inferiority towards. But then it hit me; I felt weak and lost my pride. And that was when everything was going the way it was supposed to go. I didn’t let that person see the real me completely but we were getting there until, well, until my pride came back and kissed me in the face. And it wasn’t one of those kisses you want to embrace; it was one that held envy, hate and revenge. And what seemed to be the start of something special, I fucked up. And now, well, that kiss left its mark on me because I can’t be hurt. I can’t feel defeat; I can’t let that person know how much they’ve impacted my life. I don’t want anything more than a friendship and I know I can come off as someone with a lot of self-confidence but deep down inside I’m just a little girl. I hate to admit it but I am. I bet you’ve moved on already and I should too. As much is it bothers me you’ll never know how I constantly catch myself thinking about you. It’s okay though, because all I want is for you to be happy and all I can do as a person is want the best for anyone no matter how they have impacted someone’s life. This is my way of closure because I can’t wait, I can’t and won’t let myself feel weak and if you really wanted me in your life you would’ve held onto me instead of letting me go.

Thank You for an amazing summer

(written: 5 months ago)