I'm not afraid of dying
strange
but why should i be afraid of dying when living is just as worse
people don't know how to love
how to accept
how to understand
why is life worth living when all you do it get hurt
start over
a white blank page
when all you do to live is to please people
but yourself
what about that?

My life
its filled with pain
opposite of love
I'm not afraid of dying
Just afraid of living
I know how it feels to get hurt from someone you love and constantly try to impress
Someone who promises you a future but then doesn't give you shit
someone who tells you they love you but still hurt you
still hurt you even when tears are streaming from your face and can't even breathe
your body tense in a ball because you don't want to feel the pain
then the blood starts to trail from your nose and realize
you've felt more pain than anything else
I felt death when I stopped loving the ones I loved
I don't believe in love
just in moments
because you only love in moments
time is finite

Sometimes I just want to disappear
I want to stop the pain
Be numb
I hide my past in the deepest parts of my soul
but its not gone
still lingers
I am lost
When will I go away
As tears trail my face a piece of me goes with it